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Diabetes vs Discipline

by Doctabarz

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about

I've lost a father and two brothers due to Type 1 Diabetes and/or related complications. Each died young, and unnecessarily. While working my own way back from rapid weight-gain and a pre-diabetic diagnosis, I began this project out of a desire to educate and inspire my remaining family members and our future generations on how we can thrive, despite what we have lost, or whatever predispositions to illness we may have inherited. It is meant to be the start of a record of what works and doesn't work for us -- the first volume in a collective research and documentation project that functions as a roadmap to health for those in our bloodline (i.e., our own personal lifestyle and dietary laws). I hope it can also be a resource for other families facing similar challenges.

Diabetes vs Discipline includes music, video commentary, and resources that aim to make scientific research on diabetes more accessible to affected families. This project was made possible in part by a fellowship from The Peace Studio, and support from my Patreon patrons. If you find value in the work I do and would like to support my creation of similar projects, please consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/doctabarz.

lyrics

My daddy died young and I be missin' him | They say it's what some disease in our blood did to him.
To tell the truth, I spent a lot of years pissed at him | Cuz diabetes ain't no match for discipline!
My baby brother died young and I be missin' him | They say it's what some disease in our blood did to him
That's why I made due diligence my deliverance | Cuz diabetes ain't no match for discipline!

At 36, my Popz died | And just before that, he lost his legs and his eyes
From tall, dark and handsome to a wheelchair and blind | My idol and namesake gone before his time.
The death of him left me, my sisters and brethren | With our bodies and souls exposed to the elements
And even though we was products of different marriages | His dying wish was to keep us from living separate
Our mamas tried to honor this as much as possible | And as his oldest child, I tried to be responsible
I'm sorry Pop. I did my best. I swear to God! | But your death left us bereft and threatened with hellish odds
I hated you for puttin us in that position | I know it ain't your fault you was insulin dependent
But ignoring what you knew gave this cold world permission | To eat your children alive without you hear to defend'em
But you was just a man, and that man I've forgiven | I'm sure if you knew the future, you'dve done some thangs different
You played your part the way God's scripts was written | And because of you dippin', I made health my religion
But your second oldest son got your same sickness | Your oldest daughter ain't got the gene, but she still afflicted
Your youngest son's kidneys was bad, but it wasn't known | Til he blacked out behind the wheel...And he was gone.
A few of us try to keep the rest alive | But we all grown men and women with our own minds,
Our own habits, our own moods and secrets | And the will to do right ain't always strong as them streets is!

My daddy died young and I be missin' him | They say it's what some disease in our blood did to him.
To tell the truth, I spent a lot of years pissed at him | Cuz diabetes ain't no match for discipline!
My baby brother died young and I be missin' him | They say it's what some disease in our blood did to him
That's why I made due diligence my deliverance | Cuz diabetes ain't no match for discipline!

I was wakin' up 'bout 3AM every night | Hungry and weak. I thought I had parasites
Inflammation in my fingers and balls of my feet | And started developing a stutter as part of my speech
Eating 7-8 times a day, every 90 minutes | And still would feel like I'm starvin'. I couldn't comprehend it
Workin' out, so besides a gut, I was rock solid | Squirtin' out from inside my gut somethin' not solid
I'm sorry. I know that's TMI | But I was tore up, and doctors didn't know the reason why
I'm vegan, and might go 10 weeks without a sweet, | But I was pre-diabetic, and hardly ever gettin' sleep
I started my 45th birthday on a cane | Couldn't walk unassisted: My feet in too much pain
So I prayed: for the wisdom to heal my own system, | Simplified my diet, and paid close attention
First half of the day, the only thing I ate | Was boiled amaranth, with cinnamon, coconut and date
And a little pinch of sea salt, to taste | For dinner, quinoa, mushroom and vegetable sauté
With a short, full-body workout before every plate | I was fully excercising my physical and my faith
But I looked a whole lot better than I would feel | Cuz I was eatin' all the time, so my body couldn't heal
I thought intermittent fasting was just hype | Til it reversed my symptoms, some almost overnight
And when I learned about cholesterol types and insulin spikes | I got some insight into my family's plight
Its seems, half my family tree's naturally skinny dudes | With brute strength, but a allergy to shitty foods
Bodies efficient at burning fat but weak | From wheat, rye, barley, excess carbs and meat
Our ancestors ate regional and seasonal | Diabetic traits was uncommon and unfeasible
We unbelievable when we do what we need to do | But when we don't the consequence is unspeakable

My daddy died young and I be missin' him | But diabetes ain't no match for discipline!
Lord, I done buried two brothers and I be missin' em | But diabetes ain't no match for discipline!
(I wish it was somethin I could've did, but it was too late!)

There's a lot I can't say | On how Pop being gone done let the devil have his way
How me and all of my siblings got demons we gotta slay | How as I wrote this song, my closest brother passed away....
20 years I dreaded the call, and then it came | I barely remember gettin' on the plane
But I still hear my mama tryin' to explain, while wailin' through the pain | It's the fate I tried everythang in my power to change
Tryin' to convince him to act and eat differently | But deep down, he felt it was facts: he'd repeat history
I knew his pride, but not the depths of his misery | His heart was scarred physically and metaphysically
I can't explain what this shit did to me | I quit my job, cuz I just don't have the energy
I can't call mama: sometime her grief is too big for me | I cry when I see his daughter, cuz she his spittin' imagery
I'm strong in many ways, but in a few--delicate |To stay strong, I treat food and wisdom as medicine
We was raised in different states and different homes | But my last remaining brother got almost the same regimen
Turns out, we was both runnin' experiments | To stay healthy, makin' the most of our intelligence:
Learn what works for our bodies, make that repetitive, | And fight the urge to be negligent with the evidence.
So far daddy's boys the only ones | I mean, my baby sister seem okay, but she got a son
And I can't say how deep this thang run | Cuz I know my daddy's Pops also died when he was young
So was we cursed before our bloodline begun? | Or powerful, but forgot where we get the power from?
My body tells me my work is not done | But what we learn to understand, we can overcome.

(I don't wanna be too late) | My daddy died young and I be missin' him
(People I don't want you to be too late) | I done buried two brothers and I be missin' em
(Cuz we can turn it around before its too late) |They say it's what some disease in our blood did to them
(Don't wanna run out of time) | But diabetes ain't no match for discipline!

credits

released September 28, 2023
Written by Keith Gerard Cross, Jr.
Performed by Keith Gerard Cross, Jr. (as Doctabarz)
Mixed and Mastered by David W. Pichard (DWP Sounds)

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about

Doctabarz Los Angeles, California

I am a Lyricist and Scientist creating musical volumes dedicated to helping humanity to achieve and sustain individual, community and environmental wellbeing.

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